


I'll Always Need You

by bellamystardust



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 4x13, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bellarke, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 10:04:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11644263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamystardust/pseuds/bellamystardust
Summary: Before they have to restart their lives in space, they of course, have a job to do.But this time is the last time.So this is what Bellamy and Clarke should've done when they had to split up for 2,199 days.





	I'll Always Need You

**Author's Note:**

> if the tags/summary didn't explain well enough, this is just kinda what my highest expectation was for what Bellamy and Clarke should've done in 4x13 bc I love them so much and they love eachother so much so.. enjoy:-)

The mansion had an entirely new aura. Instead of comfy and isolated, it’s now desperate and haunting. With Praimfaya so close yet so far away, Bellamy could feel the power of it’s toxins seeping into his suit. Behind him the jeep is still, leaving the door unlocked, he’s already craving to be back in the driver's seat and storm off back to the rocket; back to their best chance at life, but they had a job to do, like always.

 

Raven sent them on a quick mission for the takeoff that was apparently vital to their survival on the Ark. Fortunately they have a little over an hour to get what they need and drive back to the lab in time, but what they needed to do took almost that long, so obviously they're gonna have to rush it. He wasn’t worried though, with Clarke by his side the whole time, he knew she knew exactly what she was doing. At least she knew how to act like that.

 

Bellamy always admired that of her, remembering their talk about the head and the heart. She was there to use her own beautiful head in dire situations while pushing her heart aside. Yet, it was unsure how things would’ve worked out if she used both. He presumed that using his heart; and not his head; balanced how they would lead their people. That’s how he knew they’re such a strong team.

 

He wouldn’t know what to do if he ever lost her.

 

Ignoring the thought of that ever happening, Bellamy contently opened the door for Clarke as they strided into the house. Based from the devices in their suits, the radiation level in there is nonexistent, so they take their masks off. He watches her scramble in the drawers of the kitchen and the office, wishing he knew what Raven needed, wishing to help Clarke. He doesn’t want to ask because there’s probably enough on her mind already, so he just blindly starts searching in other miscellaneous drawers. Clarke glances back at Bellamy, studying his movements, then realizes why he’s acting slower than usual.

 

“Bell.”  
He shoots his head up and his concerned face falls when he sees her smug expression. “What?”  
“You have no idea what you’re looking for, do you?” she grins a little wider, it feels as if she hasn’t smiled like this in months.

 

Bellamy’s face reddens, making him look back down. “That obvious huh?” he closes the drawer and walks towards her, bringing his head back up and locking his gaze at her. “Just let me help you.”  
“It’s fine, you know I got it.” she holds that same sly smile and looks back up to Bellamy’s eyes.

 

The two hold their gaze for longer than usual, lost in the very miniscule moment of irony: Somehow, with a catastrophic death wave heading their way, they’re content.

 

That moment is short lived when a sudden loud bang is heard from the outside, and the lights throughout the house flickers. They move closer together, looking around aimlessly, as if they’ll find an answer in the walls. Static is heard from Clarke’s radio until they hear Raven’s voice pull through. “You guys alive?”

 

They glance at each other, silently agreeing that now is not the most appropriate time to ask that. Regardless, Clarke pulls the radio to her mouth, “I guess, how is everything over there?”

 

Bellamy puts a hand on Clarke’s shoulder before walking off into the hallway while still listening, going to explore the mansion for the last time. “Actually, not great, something’s happened to the cell tower that’s supposed to power the Ark from here, I’d guess lightning or some kinda shortage.” Raven’s distraught voice echoes through the house.

 

Bellamy hears Clarke’s breath hitch. He loses their voices when he walks into the massive master bedroom, a window that shows the outside world keeps him lost in the thought of how peaceful and beautiful this place would’ve been, but lonely. Spending time up here with someone you love, however, would be incredible.

 

He surprises himself when he doesn’t think of Octavia as that person.

 

After a few minutes, slow footsteps are heard behind him and he already knows something is wrong. The certain subtle persistence in her step means she has to say something but really doesn’t want to. He really does know her too well.

 

The footsteps stop in the doorframe as he still stares out into the wilderness from that room. Her gaze pierces into him, and he can feel it. Everything is changing.

 

“Clarke..” Bellamy’s voice is soft, preparing to take a blow; a stifling gasp is heard from her as she struggles to let out what she has to say.

 

“One us us has to go to the cell tower and connect the Ark.. manually.” Tears held back into her eyes, just like how they were when the radio broke back at the lab. Bellamy turns to her and sees her expression; tormented and frustrated- again just like when she couldn’t say goodbye to her mom. Instead, she walks towards him and wraps her arms around his neck before he can say anything. The tears are felt seeping into his suit; _‘Much better than radiated air, I guess’_.

 

“What does this mean.. for us?” he says as gentle as possible. She pulls back, arms still around his neck, and looks at the floor. “If the cell tower is disconnected, there won’t be any power to even open the door on the Ark.” She looks back up to Bellamy’s eyes deeply searching for an answer, with a kind but concerned expression. “The tower isn’t far from here so you have to get back-” suddenly, Bellamy pulls and turns away bringing his hand to his mouth.

 

“You really think I’m letting you go out there just to get left behind?” he says with the type of tone you’d tell a child, “You’re gonna go back to the lab, I’m going to go fix the tower and-”

 

“Bellamy, _no_.”  
“Clarke, _stop_. Okay, they need you up there. They listen to you, I couldn’t even try to start a life in space, let alone lead 8-.. 7 of them.”  
“I have to do this Bellamy, I know exactly where the tower is and Raven already explained what to do when I get there. Plus if I do get left behind, I still have the nightblood. So I’ll be okay.. Please Bellamy just listen to me.”  
“I’ll go with you and help you. I can-”  
“ _No_! Bellamy this job is for me, you have to get back to _guide_ them, to prove to them that life is worth _living_ , despite it being in space with low recourses. That’s your job- to teach people how to _live_.” At this point, Clarke is just giving the talk that he’ll need to be inspired to go on, but he wasn’t having it

 

“I don’t know how to do any of that Clarke. Please-”  
“You know more than you think Bellamy, either way it’s not about what you know; it’s about who you are. You’re a natural leader. You pour your entire being into the people you care about and their lives. You never give yourself the credit you deserve and _damn it_ ,” her voice cracks, “I’m gonna keep you alive for as long as it takes for you to see that you deserve nothing but a chance.” She pauses as her and Bellamy stare so intensely it burns through her. “You’re not stopping me.”

 

Bellamy has tears in his eyes and before she turns to walk out, he grabs her forearm and stops her in her tracks. He can hear she’s quietly sniffling and letting herself break, little by little. They both know how serious this situation is, and what risks have to be taken, but there’s no way in hell he’s letting the thought of living without her come true.

 

“Clarke I swear on my mothers life, you’re going to go.” he tugs Clarke back to face him; she just looks so tired.  
“You’re going to go _live_. There’s nothing I want more than to see that rocket soaring into space knowing you’re in it. Those idiots back there need you, I don't care anymore on what's going to happen to me or anyone.. It's _you_ of all people who deserve a chance. To live, to.. be happy..” he feels his emotions getting to best of him, but like he said: he doesn't care.

 

“To love..” He pulls his other hand up to move her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. Doing that with her that lights a flame inside his heart. To reveal her breathtaking face and have the opportunity to touch her. He’s not sure if it's the way she's looking at him now or the clock ticking away at normal life on Earth;

 

He has to say what is needed now, before it's too late.

 

“Clarke since the day I saw you in that dropship, right before we opened the door, I knew you'd be trouble.” He feels nostalgic as they were earlier, remembering the speech she gave him. “You have ambition, you have integrity, you have intelligence, you have.. beauty, you have care, you have _everything_ Clarke.”

 

He feels something trying to hold him back in his throat and puts his hand on her shoulder; other hand still in the crook of her face and neck.

 

“That day trip we took, when we found those guns? I’ll never forget when I taught you how to shoot.. that was one of the first times I saw you as a person, not some spoilt princess.” They were both crying at this point, Clarke knew what he was doing, Bellamy knew what he was doing. So they smiled while letting tears stream down their face.

 

In the back of Bellamy’s mind, there was a voice saying there's nothing he’s gonna do to stop her. It’s probably his own, because he knows Clarke is right and, once again, just knows her too well. Throughout this whole conversation, that voice has just gotten louder. Now it’s screaming _let her go_ , and furthermore, his emotions spiral out of control. Getting angry and scared and anxious all at once. He truly doesn't know what he’s going to do without her.

 

“God Clarke I can't even look at you… just-” Bellamy lets go of her, Clarke’s sad smile falls when he walks back rubbing his hands on his face. More tears dwell in both their eyes, for the same reason.

 

They really need each other, so bad.

 

Bellamy feels like he’s losing his mind at this point, he wants to scream, and cry, and throw something. So he does just that. Like a natural impulse, Bellamy screams,  
“I’m not losing you again! I-I don't even wanna..” he trails off as Clarke stands off staring and crying harder; she wants nothing more than to just _hold_ him.

 

“B-Bellamy… I’m sorry. I can't leave you like this I-”  
In what feels like half a second, Bellamy yells and picks up the nearby lamp and chucks it towards the window. Silence devours the room as only their breathing can be heard. Clarke can feel the tension rise and fall instantly. She’s scared, not of him though, for him. She feels this involuntary need to ensure he’s safe, she's tired of sitting in this room discussing this when she should be watching Bellamy leave in that rover to get back to the lab in time. They've wasted a good 10 minutes here and it shatters Clarke’s heart every second that flies away that Bellamy isn't safe. Of course she cares about Raven and Murphy and Monty and everyone, but at this moment- all she truly only treasures Bellamy.

 

Also at this moment, she recognizes this feeling before. And realizes something she’s actually known for almost forever.

 

Quietly she hears him chanting breathlessly,

  
  
“ _I need you.. I need you.. I need you.._ ”

 

Bellamy is lost in his mind and only sees Clarke, and reminisces too many moments to count where he needed her. But really, he wanted her. He’s already realized something long ago, when he found her after losing her the first time. Now he just has the guts to say it.

 

But before he gets the chance to, Clarke comes around and holds his face in her hands and wipes his tears from his cheeks with her thumbs. They lock their glossy eyes and get lost in them once again.

 

Clarks nods as more tears spill, Bellamy brings one hand up to rub them away, placing his other hand on her hip. They’ve never been this close before.

 

Now that they are, it feels like the breath of fresh air they've been longing for ever since they landed here.

 

Clarke pulls her forehead to Bellamy’s, having to go up on her toes a little. She almost silently whispers,

 

“I’ll always need you, Bellamy”

 

Almost in sync, they both; after what feels like a lifetime of waiting; combine their lips together in a kiss. Passion, flame, affection, care, _everything_ is felt morphing through them and they know it. So they smile. Never letting go, and just pulling each other tighter together, Bellamy lifts Clarke off the ground and just holds her in the air as their kiss becomes more intense, and beautifully tragic. Yes they’re crying, but it’s not about Praimfaya anymore.

 

It’s about this final moment together, a moment they pushed off for far too long.

 

What feels like an eternity later, they slowly pull away, not far away though. Just enough to feel their breath on one another, and their foreheads touch again. He sets her down like that, both his hands at her waist, both her hands holding his face, both getting a good look for what seems as the last time.

 

Their eyes open and it almost knocks the wind out of them, both just captivated by each other's beauty. They have to go.

 

Clarke softly says finally, “You’re my anchor Bell, you always will be.”

 

Bellamy allows a single tear to fall, they both gently smile, crinkles arise by their eyes. The whole world has fallen away.

 

“I am so in love with you Clarke Griffin.”

 

He sighs, not ever wanting this to end. He hasn't felt this happy in his life, he's damn sure of it.  
She melts, never feeling so much compassion for this one, beautiful person.

 

“I’m so much more in love with you, Bellamy Blake.”

 

Ages later, they break apart and intertwine fingers, walking towards their fate. What they came here for in the first place isn't important anymore, so they just leave the mansion as it is, then outside to the jeep. Bellamy turns and just looks at her, tears brimming his eyelids as she replaces the her own hand with the object in his palm.

 

They connect eyes for the last time, a small and melancholy smile on each other's face. The last time.

 

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Bellamy exclaims.  
“No you won't.” Clarke sighs again, followed by a small, sad chuckle from the both of them.

 

Bellamy steps into the jeep and hesitantly closes the door. He doesn't pay attention as he turns the ignition and sets the gear into drive, as he’s getting his ultimate look of her.

 

His princess.

 

She checks the clock of how much time they have, another 45 minutes. There's no way she’ll make it, but he certainly will.

 

And that's all that she needs to know. 

 

  


**Author's Note:**

> hi I hope you enjoyed/died inside just as much as I did while writing this lol.  
> this is my first fic ever so if there is any mistakes (format, grammar, etc.), please message me on tumblr; mcmatinski-or twitter; voidcasslan (constructive criticism is key!!) 
> 
> I'd highly appreciate your comments/reviews, and thank you so much for getting all the way to the end :-)


End file.
